What is Complex Trauma…and have I experienced it?
When you think of trauma, you may think of people who have experience life-or-death situations, like veterans or assault survivors. Maybe you think of trauma as being any experience more intense than what a person can handle. Maybe you look at your life and it’s obvious to you - yep, I’ve experienced trauma. And maybe it isn’t. You’ve been through difficult things, sure, but is it trauma?
The technical definition of trauma used by psychologists and therapists is also too limited. It usually only includes experiencing or witnessing a life-threatening event, or hearing about a life-threatening event happening to a loved one. It’s considering one, really big event (this is called acute trauma). But that doesn’t account for things like emotional abuse, bullying, or physical abuse - things that are obviously traumatic. When a person experiences repeated experiences of traumatic events, usually within a relationship, we call this complex trauma.
Trauma is very complex and no two stories are alike. Complex trauma might include physical, sexual, emotional abuse, or witnessing domestic violence. It might include being raised in a financially unstable environment and experiencing homelessness, poverty, or food insecurity. It might look like having an unstable caregiver whose mental illness or relationship problems impacted the whole household.
If it’s trauma…is someone to blame?
It’s important to recognize that some trauma has a clear perpetrator and some trauma does not. Some of you experienced trauma at the hands of another person who had clearly bad intentions. Or maybe they have good intentions but are unable to follow through on those good intentions because of their own limitations. You may have decided to go no-contact with a family member or partner who has abused you to maintain your own emotional and physical safety.
Others of you may find yourself feeling like it isn’t fair to others to call it trauma. For example, maybe you experienced poverty and food insecurity as a child, but you saw your parents work hard every day to make your world better. You can still love your parents, respect them, have empathy for them AND you can recognize that your parent’s difficulties had a negative impact on you. Recognizing that you experienced trauma may actually be a key step toward your healing.
Not sure if you experienced trauma? Having a hard time remembering your past experiences or becoming very emotional when you do? Consider talking to a therapist. Making sense of your past can be complicated, but you don’t have to do it alone. Reach out today to get started on your healing journey.
